There is nothing quite like seeing people achieve a significant breakthrough. Perhaps they secured affordable housing, recovered from life-threatening illness or addiction, fell in love or graduated from high school after dropping out many times.

Whether these transformative achievements are common or rare, we don’t want to miss the opportunity to mark the enormity of what has just occurred with a ritual or celebration. Life has enough tough times, let’s make the most of the great ones.

But we also need to make time to celebrate the smaller wins – the step forward, the fear faced, the shared tenderness. While the big successes offer highlights, these quieter moments provide the texture, the day to day richness that makes the work sustainable.

And seen up close, when we give these moments our full attention, they are grand indeed. They are stories of love and courage and faith. They are the epic tales in short poetic form.

I’ve met a lot of people who express a desire to help others but feel disheartened by a lack of qualifications. They might talk about wanting to be a psychologist but don’t have the time or resources to complete the intensive training. There’s a question of legitimacy, an implication that some ways of helping are ranked as more valuable than others.

Professions fuel this perception when they advocate for their version of helping over those of other professions. At its worst, it becomes a form of rivalry with competition for status or resources. Or both, since they often come together.

And yet there are so many ways to be helpful. The team of people who made your chair. The hairdresser who listened and gave you a great haircut. The engineers who designed that bridge you drive over and the construction workers who built it The person who stopped to help you pick up something you dropped when your hands were full or gave you a friendly smile as you passed by on the street.

So by all means, follow your dreams to seek new paths. But remember not to underestimate what you have to offer now, in the life you currently live. It’s not so much what you do that is helpful, it’s more how you do it – being present, coming from a place of kindness or generosity, and acting with integrity.

The art of helping others is a process of self discovery. We sometimes start with ideals we want to live up to or mentors we want to emulate. Our sense of what is good lies outside of us. And these sources can absolutely act as inspiration or clarification on what we’re shooting for.

But we’re not a profession, we’re not our mentor. Our aim is to discover who we are, to maximise our strengths and learn to soften our weaknesses so that we can be present for the person in front of us.

This is often framed as “being our best self”. And it sounds appealing, we get to be a version of ourselves that we can like and feel proud of. It also sounds like a bit of pressure, a subtle need to constantly perform. It doesn’t leave much room for the messiness of real life. There is a sense of striving, a reaching up, reaching out.

When we aim to be our true self, we reach within. There is more room for acceptance, curiosity and grace. It’s not a performance but a state of authenticity where there is room for the natural ebbs and flows of energy and focus. While acquiring skills and strategies is still important, there is as much to be gained from shedding the beliefs and doubts that hold us back.

Whether you’re here for a familiar voice or stumbled in, perhaps looking for another door entirely, welcome.

We might use different language. Perhaps you turn up to be helpful, or useful, to others. Or to support or care. Or facilitate, coach, lead, mentor or just somehow make a difference.

We might be from different professions. Perhaps you have studied to be doing what you do. Or learned on the job. Or from life. Or, very likely, a combination of all three.

We might be doing different things. Maybe you work in a role dedicated to supporting people going through tough times or experiencing an opportunity to grow. Or perhaps, whatever you do, you just want to do it with kindness and consideration.

Turning up to support others is to enter a relationship. And like any relationship we need to give attention to what’s going on in our half – the good, the bad, and the “wow, OK, I didn’t expect that”.

These short blogs offer a chance to take a breath, slow down and reflect. Some may resonate, some may not. Even that can be interesting. Perhaps a blog that underwhelms today may be relevant at another time. Or one that feels valuable today will be outgrown tomorrow.

I hope you enjoy this contribution to our community of people who care about people. And I trust you’ll take from this what you find helpful and leave anything that isn’t.