For many of us, taking on a role to support others feels more like a calling than a job. There’s a deep sense of meaning, a connection to the work. And finding your vocation can come with a profound sense of belonging and recognition. “Yes! This is what I want to do!”
All the more confronting then, if we get into this work and find that it’s not exactly like what we imagined.
Perhaps we imagined working with people who wanted what we had to offer in thoughtful conversations and a sense of achievement. Then we find ourselves working with people who aren’t even sure they want to be there at all.
Perhaps we imagined more chaos and friction, but also that it works out OK in the end. And then it doesn’t.
Or we turned up to work with people and find ourselves spending more time entering data. Or turned up for conversations and end up filling in a lot of forms.
It’s like our personal relationships. The romantic rollercoaster of falling in love gets all the attention from Hollywood but like any love story, that’s just the beginning.
What about when the honeymoon fades? The next thirty years of trying to work out how to live together and navigate life’s challenges is the real story.
It’s the same thing when we find our vocation. Deciding to enter a field of work or completing qualifications may get the glory. But the challenge of turning up and working out how to be genuinely helpful in the messiness of human lives is where the learning happens.
There may be unexpected twists and turns, heartbreak and new starts. You will discover things about yourself you didn’t anticipate, good, bad and everything between. Your path may take you far from your initial dream. And like any relationship you may decide to walk away entirely at some point. Maybe return. Maybe not.
This work is a quiet, slow, evolving process that takes time and effort like any relationship. It’s not sexy, it’s might not make good tv, but it’s the stuff of growth and fulfilment.
Helen Mentha 