Conversations are made of bits. Individual skills, wording, tone, rhythm. The spaces between of silence and anticipation. The flow, the pace, the music.
Much like doing scales on a musical instrument or drills at sports training, we can practice the individual elements of good communication away from the people we support. And the more we do that, the more honed and flexible those skills will be when they most matter.
Many of us grew up with the phrase “practice makes perfect”. And later maybe got the more refined version “perfect practice makes perfect”. Because if we practice with bad technique, all we do is reinforce bad habits.
Which all makes sense in theory, but in reality it puts a lot of pressure on us. And increases the chance we don’t do any practice at all.
We don’t do practice to get perfect at practice. We practice to have better conversations with people. The aim is not to get it right every time, the aim is to learn. And the best way to learn is to enjoy the process. Have fun, hold it lightly, be playful.
Yes, we want to be informed and intentional. And yes, we absolutely want to reflect on the experience and how to improve. But we also need to make room for curiosity. We want to feel free to try things out, make mistakes, laugh at the convoluted phrases we form on the way.
And maybe the more comfortable we get with the messiness of our own learning, the better able we will be to support others through their own trials and errors and growth.
Helen Mentha 