We don’t talk enough about grace. Maybe it sounds too religious. Or old fashioned. Or vague. When you go down the rabbit hole there’s a wide range of definitions, from elegance of movement to the deeply spiritual, covering a great deal of ground between.
The version that most intrigues me isn’t grand or choir-worthy. We talk of receiving feedback or an apology with grace. It’s a humble act that allows acceptance for what arises in the moment, neither grasping or rejecting, a gentle space to receive another with consideration.
There’s a quality of being genuinely present with a wide open awareness, rather than laser-focused inquisition, neither interrogating nor ignoring. There’s room for human messiness, where faux pas, pettiness and missteps can be held within a broader connection, without whiplash reactivity, neither condoning nor condemning.
There’s a feeling of slowing down time just a bit, making a little more room, bringing a touch of ease that might soften an otherwise heightened moment. It’s like loosening the belt of the conversation by a notch after a big meal. There’s a sense of relief. There still may be a lot to digest and actions may need to be taken. But right now both people can breathe.
Helen Mentha 