We support people through challenges that continue long after the conversation is over. And it’s not unusual for people to come back and say “I had your voice in my head”, perhaps coaching or reminding them of something they had found helpful.
Sadly they may be less likely to come back and tell us when our voice was present for the wrong reasons. Something we said when we missed the mark. Something that felt hurtful or critical. Something that may even make that person reluctant to seek help in future.
Clearly we need to focus on the content of what we say – it matters. But we can also be curious about the voice itself. When the people we support hear our voice when we’re not there, what do they hear? What qualities, tone or characteristics play in the other person’s mind?
Anyone who listens to audiobooks or podcasts will know how much the voice matters – it can be a deciding factor in whether we go ahead and listen or not. Is it warm or distant, calm or animated, relatable or academic? Is this a voice that helps us to pay attention or drift, absorb or get distracted? Does it feel friendly or indifferent? Would we want to listen to this voice over and over or just this one time?
When we work with such complexity, every variable becomes a potential source of value. Your voice is a significant one. What does your voice communicate to others? And how would it feel if this voice was talking to you?
Helen Mentha 