One of the best investments we can ever make is in people. Their role doesn’t matter so much – client, coworker, manager, student – because that changes. But the layer beneath, the more enduring heartbeat of who they are as humans, that’s something. Really something.
The best way to invest isn’t praise, or advice, or advocacy, or even encouragement, even though we may do some or all of those from time to time. It doesn’t come from a place of wise knowing or superiority. We have not been ordained the host at the party making sure everyone is being looked after and we’re not the mother duck shepherding the ducklings across the busy street. Because those roles make us separate, unequal, and ultimately more alone.
Rather, it’s about how we see people and how people feel seen. It’s about paying attention, noticing what people are made of, looking past the immediate situation to discover their hopes, their values and the ways they make a difference.
Perhaps your version is brimming with energy and consensual hugs. Perhaps you’re more aloof, but your succinct insights are remembered for years. Perhaps you share your observations more through actions than words. Perhaps you’re eloquent or goofy, solemn or playful, speaking from the head of the table or from a quiet corner.
And to truly see someone, we also need to allow ourselves to be seen. It’s a two-way process because their capacity to notice and invest and build up the people around them is part of who they are too.
Helen Mentha 