It’s normal to have parts of the work to feel less comfortable to do than others. Some may even be stressful or outright anxiety provoking. We may find ourselves putting certain tasks off or coming up with reasons not to do the thing – it’s not my job, the system sucks, it was better the way we used to do it. We might grit our teeth and get it done first, or over prepare, overdo it, leave it til last or see if someone else can do it.
There’s the common ones. Dealing with aggression, crisis or risk. Having difficult conversations or taking action someone else doesn’t want us to take. Speaking in meetings or in public. Then there’s the seemingly less threatening ones. Making phone calls, sending emails or filling in databases or government forms, going to team building days. It really doesn’t matter what it is, it’s just that we know we’d rather not do it.
It takes time and breathing space to explore the deeper source of discomfort so we can manage the impact on ourselves and others. And they can be trickier to catch than they first seem. There might be undercurrents of deeper, more ancient hurts that are harder to pin down with our conscious adult mind.
It’s work best done with others – in supervision, therapy, conversation with mentors, friendly peer discussions, spiritual retreats. We can also discover insights in the challenges we set ourselves and crafts we seek to hone. Wherever we push our edges, our fears will show.
And it’s a work in progress, likely to never be completely resolved. But if we can meet these moments with honesty and acceptance we can work with them, rather than despite them. We may not always see them at the time but we can still learn from reflection. And if we can sit with them with open minds and hearts, they can become our greatest teachers.
Helen Mentha 