We’re often urged to ‘find our why’ like it’s out there, waiting to be discovered, or lost down the back of the sofa. Our ‘why’ sounds like a magical key that will unlock potential and achievements with the beautiful energy it unleashes. And who wouldn’t want that?

But maybe this version of finding meaning is more like a Hollywood romance that ends with the couple getting together, just before the hard work begins. Because finding our sense of purpose isn’t a thing, it’s a relationship to be cultivated.

We need to woo what matters, take it on dates, do laundry with it, go to therapy together and check in with each other at the end of the day. The real magic comes in turning up over and over to face our hopes and fears, our insecurities and strengths, our urge to control and the need to let go.

Only then, over time, we accumulate memories that delight us or move us to tears. We discover we’ve grown in ways we never dared to imagine. We find solace in knowing we showed up for what matters, or what matters showed up for us when we needed it most.

We’re not seeking a mysterious prize to be grasped like a trophy at the end of the race. It’s more about earning the kind of relationship that, for all our imperfections, lets us be a more intentional, courageous version of ourselves. And maybe that’s what we were looking for all along.

It’s easy to get caught in the busy-cycle of consume-do-achieve. If we get stuck in traffic or a queue, or need to wait for an appointment or meeting, it’s natural to feel frustrated or impatient. Our mind is already itching to get to the next thing.

But what are we being impatient for? For time to have passed, be over and never coming back? Like the space between meals, between words, between notes in a song, moments we want to discard can become precious in their own quiet way.

They add to the rhythms of our day, creating texture and relief. They offer a counterbalance to busyness with an opportunity to observe-digest-reflect. And sometimes, something emerges that surprises or delights us, we just needed to slow down enough to be present when it turned up.